after the rain...

after the rain...
comes rainbow displayed in the blue sky arrayed in all of its shining and beautiful colors.... this is what i feel, i wanna shout, i wanna celebrate, i wanna bring back to my normal life....

it was on march 24 @9AM when its the very first time I have experienced being interrogated by an attorney. I was interviewed in an administrative hearing for the false accusations and purely allegations. It so much hurt on my side because with good faith I have performed well in my job, I may not be perfect but I tried to be one but at the end I was in front of an attorney explaining myself for no cause.

almost 6 days of no apetite as if food just want to follow the flow, eating without taste, drinking without quenching the thirst, sleeping but not resting.... it's so hard, it's so fearing, it's so disappointing, it's so humiliating.... how i wish i was never ever ever in my life that it did happen to me. but on top of all this, God is still to be praised.

i've read a book "When Crisis Hits You: Tasting God's Goodness In Bitter Times" while waiting for my friends to arrive at meeting place. it touches my heart with this line "nothing happens at random or by chance. nothing is without purpose. we may not know the purpose of our suffering now but not knowing the purpose does not mean there isn't any. however difficult life may be, faith requires that we stay loyal to God even in the midst of our pain." All I can say Lord, I'm laying all these things to You, take full control.

As I am sitting on a bench at Trinoma, I am looking at the blue sky while singing "To God be the glory, to God be the glory, to God be the glory for the things he has done...." I was so deeply moved by the Holy Spirit during those times and I was even crying while a lot of people were noticing my tears are beginning to fall on my face. I said to myself, "I don't care, you don't know how much I was hurting earlier but now I am rejoicing because my Lord and King have saved me and restored me back again...." These sweet words keep lingering on my mind, these words strike my heart, awakens me and deepens my relationship to Jesus.

Truly, God knows what's best for us. He knows the start until the end. If only I learned to completely entrust to Him everything even if I don't see things clearly as the way I wanted to be let this phrase ablaze in me... "Lord let my heart be still and quiet - to be near you even after the rain..."