It is my prayer that I won't be discouraged tomorrow Lord. I know I am good just like the way you look at me. I can do this through your help. I'll just give my best and thank You Lord that You'll take care of the rest.
Till my next post...
Sunday, May 22, 2011
watch me
Tomorrow is another big day for me because I will be interviewed and have my examination for a new job. I should let go of the fear and start to believe in God and in myself that I can do it. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 and that is part of my meditation today.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
may ilaw pala
Minsan di ko na na-appreciate ung mga bagay na nasa paligid ko. siguro kasi madalas ko sila makita at andyan lang sila talaga. nuong meron pa akong work, minsan umuwi ako ng bahay. nakita ko ang daming binili ng asawa ko na mga ilaw. nagalit ako sabi ko dahil ang daming gastos. kung ano-ano ang binili. pero ngayon na nandito ako sa bahay, na-appreciate ko ung ilaw na binili niya. ang ganda pala lalo na pag naglaptop ka ang linaw ng tingin. kitang- kita ko ang mga tinatype ko.
Salamat sa Lord dahil unti-unti niyang binabago ang buhay ko dito sa bahay. 2 months na rin akong walang work pero meron pala inaayos ang Lord sa puso ko. ano pa kaya ang aayusin niya? nakakatuwa naman Siya, siguro hinahanda Niya ako para sa isang mas malaking blessing. salamat sa iyo Panginoon.
Inaantok na ako pero pilitin ko pa maaral ung XML para bukas application na lang. Salamat Lord nakakabalik na ako sa programming.
Monday, May 9, 2011
looking for a job (part 2)
I' m getting better in my recovery.... Yehey... I asked the Lord why it's taking so long for me to get a new job only to find out that I was not that prepared. One of the employers whom I have applied sent me an email for the copy of my exam. He hand to me the instructions and as I am reading it I asked myself, "What if these questions or this exam was given to me during my job interview? Can I answer it?" I don't think I can. I have forgotten the programming because the latest job that I have is not more on programming but it is more on managing people. I thank God I was not put to shame - thank You Lord.
Now I know I need to get back on reviewing my programming lessons. I need to prepare just like an athlete. It takes time to prepare but its worth paying the cost. Really, God knows what is best.
I am going to market today to buy some stuff. Later, I'll continue studying AJAX and XML. Then next would be PHP. Then after VLS (Vacation Learning School) at church, I am now ready to land on my new job.
I have recalled the life of Job and I find it similar to what is happening to me right now. Job 1: 21 "and said, 'Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised."
Now I know I need to get back on reviewing my programming lessons. I need to prepare just like an athlete. It takes time to prepare but its worth paying the cost. Really, God knows what is best.
I am going to market today to buy some stuff. Later, I'll continue studying AJAX and XML. Then next would be PHP. Then after VLS (Vacation Learning School) at church, I am now ready to land on my new job.
I have recalled the life of Job and I find it similar to what is happening to me right now. Job 1: 21 "and said, 'Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised."
looking for a job
Lord tulungan mo ako makahanap ng work. Napapagod na ako, lahat ng inaplyan ko walang reply. I keep on researching jobs but their job specifications is higher than I do have. What will I do Lord? Im tired, exhausted and needy... I need money Lord. Please help me.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
ang blog salamt may blog
tanging itong blog na ito ang saksi sa lahat ng sama ng loob ko. narito nakasulat kung sino ako, what concerns me, even my limitations - ung mga super weaknesses ko.
ngayon, ito ang nararamdaman ko:
1. galit ako sa mundo, feeling ko kasi wala na akong pagasa
2. galit ako sa mga in-laws ko dahil wala silang pakialam imbis na makatulong sila pa ung number 1 na nangaapi i dont feel like i belong to this family, do i exist? maybe not. am i important? important what's that?
3. galit ako sa mga taong nangiinis sa akin walang magawa kungdi ang manginis at manginis, so ganun.... ikaw na... di ka magpatalo.
i dont know how would i recover.... siguro in time.
ngayon, ito ang nararamdaman ko:
1. galit ako sa mundo, feeling ko kasi wala na akong pagasa
2. galit ako sa mga in-laws ko dahil wala silang pakialam imbis na makatulong sila pa ung number 1 na nangaapi i dont feel like i belong to this family, do i exist? maybe not. am i important? important what's that?
3. galit ako sa mga taong nangiinis sa akin walang magawa kungdi ang manginis at manginis, so ganun.... ikaw na... di ka magpatalo.
i dont know how would i recover.... siguro in time.
Friday, April 29, 2011
small room
why do i need to compress myself into a very small room? i need comfort daddy. i'm not asking for anything big i just need some extra space to put the refrigerator, washing maching, dining tables and food trolly. is it too majestic to ask for? is it too big to request for?
"i can't settle for anything less", yes thats true.
i know i deserve something better. wish that my life is just like a fairy tale. but it wasn't.
sometimes i came to this point, complaining of our small room in bonifacio's compound. wondering if i was really a part of this big family. am i really that important? were all my views seems to be considerate? do i really exist? i do not know
i am uncertain of what will happen after 10 years of paying the Php 6000 rental of a very small room. i miss our space in parkhomes, tunasan with 2 bedrooms, 1 large receiving area, 1 kitchen, 1 toilet and bathroom and 10 steps balcony. Lord is our stay here with my inlaws wrong? is it wrong? tell me.... i am renting... but i dont deserve the worth of my rent.
Lord help me, make me victorious over this matter.
"i can't settle for anything less", yes thats true.
i know i deserve something better. wish that my life is just like a fairy tale. but it wasn't.
sometimes i came to this point, complaining of our small room in bonifacio's compound. wondering if i was really a part of this big family. am i really that important? were all my views seems to be considerate? do i really exist? i do not know
i am uncertain of what will happen after 10 years of paying the Php 6000 rental of a very small room. i miss our space in parkhomes, tunasan with 2 bedrooms, 1 large receiving area, 1 kitchen, 1 toilet and bathroom and 10 steps balcony. Lord is our stay here with my inlaws wrong? is it wrong? tell me.... i am renting... but i dont deserve the worth of my rent.
Lord help me, make me victorious over this matter.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
after the rain...
after the rain...
comes rainbow displayed in the blue sky arrayed in all of its shining and beautiful colors.... this is what i feel, i wanna shout, i wanna celebrate, i wanna bring back to my normal life....
it was on march 24 @9AM when its the very first time I have experienced being interrogated by an attorney. I was interviewed in an administrative hearing for the false accusations and purely allegations. It so much hurt on my side because with good faith I have performed well in my job, I may not be perfect but I tried to be one but at the end I was in front of an attorney explaining myself for no cause.
almost 6 days of no apetite as if food just want to follow the flow, eating without taste, drinking without quenching the thirst, sleeping but not resting.... it's so hard, it's so fearing, it's so disappointing, it's so humiliating.... how i wish i was never ever ever in my life that it did happen to me. but on top of all this, God is still to be praised.
i've read a book "When Crisis Hits You: Tasting God's Goodness In Bitter Times" while waiting for my friends to arrive at meeting place. it touches my heart with this line "nothing happens at random or by chance. nothing is without purpose. we may not know the purpose of our suffering now but not knowing the purpose does not mean there isn't any. however difficult life may be, faith requires that we stay loyal to God even in the midst of our pain." All I can say Lord, I'm laying all these things to You, take full control.
As I am sitting on a bench at Trinoma, I am looking at the blue sky while singing "To God be the glory, to God be the glory, to God be the glory for the things he has done...." I was so deeply moved by the Holy Spirit during those times and I was even crying while a lot of people were noticing my tears are beginning to fall on my face. I said to myself, "I don't care, you don't know how much I was hurting earlier but now I am rejoicing because my Lord and King have saved me and restored me back again...." These sweet words keep lingering on my mind, these words strike my heart, awakens me and deepens my relationship to Jesus.
Truly, God knows what's best for us. He knows the start until the end. If only I learned to completely entrust to Him everything even if I don't see things clearly as the way I wanted to be let this phrase ablaze in me... "Lord let my heart be still and quiet - to be near you even after the rain..."
comes rainbow displayed in the blue sky arrayed in all of its shining and beautiful colors.... this is what i feel, i wanna shout, i wanna celebrate, i wanna bring back to my normal life....
it was on march 24 @9AM when its the very first time I have experienced being interrogated by an attorney. I was interviewed in an administrative hearing for the false accusations and purely allegations. It so much hurt on my side because with good faith I have performed well in my job, I may not be perfect but I tried to be one but at the end I was in front of an attorney explaining myself for no cause.
almost 6 days of no apetite as if food just want to follow the flow, eating without taste, drinking without quenching the thirst, sleeping but not resting.... it's so hard, it's so fearing, it's so disappointing, it's so humiliating.... how i wish i was never ever ever in my life that it did happen to me. but on top of all this, God is still to be praised.
i've read a book "When Crisis Hits You: Tasting God's Goodness In Bitter Times" while waiting for my friends to arrive at meeting place. it touches my heart with this line "nothing happens at random or by chance. nothing is without purpose. we may not know the purpose of our suffering now but not knowing the purpose does not mean there isn't any. however difficult life may be, faith requires that we stay loyal to God even in the midst of our pain." All I can say Lord, I'm laying all these things to You, take full control.
As I am sitting on a bench at Trinoma, I am looking at the blue sky while singing "To God be the glory, to God be the glory, to God be the glory for the things he has done...." I was so deeply moved by the Holy Spirit during those times and I was even crying while a lot of people were noticing my tears are beginning to fall on my face. I said to myself, "I don't care, you don't know how much I was hurting earlier but now I am rejoicing because my Lord and King have saved me and restored me back again...." These sweet words keep lingering on my mind, these words strike my heart, awakens me and deepens my relationship to Jesus.
Truly, God knows what's best for us. He knows the start until the end. If only I learned to completely entrust to Him everything even if I don't see things clearly as the way I wanted to be let this phrase ablaze in me... "Lord let my heart be still and quiet - to be near you even after the rain..."
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